At least two or three times a week I receive an e-mail from someone in a foreign country letting me know that unbeknownst to me $960 million dollars is sitting in an account waiting just for me….tell me if you received this kind of letter….
I humbly apologize with every due respect for any embarrassment my action in contacting you might cause you. Considering the fact that we do not know each other before. This is because of this ample opportunity before me to which I will never want us to lose. But for the fact that I cannot do it alone, I therefore wish to contact you for it. My name is (Mr. Fulla Bulla) a citizen of this country.
I work as a recording secretary for a large bank. It was revealed as a top agenda for a recent meeting that there was this customer to the bank whose
name is Dr. Lotsamullah inmyaccounta from Saudi Arabia. This man deposited the sum of £50,000,000.00 (Fifty Million British Pounds Stirling only) in a domicilliary account with the Bank where I am working presently. Unfortunately, in 2001, he died in plane crash on his way to his holiday feast in his country alongside with his entire immediate family of wife and two children leaving no other living kin…….
Well you know the rest of the story, all you need to do is fly to some foreign country with a suit case of small bills or deposit a mere $5000 into a foreign bank account and this “honest, god fearing” person will hand over the millions to you.
Now what got me thinking is how do these ‘scam artists” learn their craft. Is there a school that teaches “scamming’ or maybe there is a national convention.
I can just see the flyer now……
The 3rd Annual Nigerian
“Write better emails. Make more moneys.”
I am Mr. Laurent Mpeti Kabila, a senior assistant leader of the Revolutionary United Front of Sierra Leone.
I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between us.
And the conference sessions and itinerary would look something like this:
• Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.
• Keynote Address:
Dr. Hamza Kalu’s adds some historical perspective in his keynote address: “From Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way.”
Attend a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic: “The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters.”
• Practical Discussion:
Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, “Are 10 million emails a day too many?”
• Panel Discussion:
Other countries are now adapting our business tactics, should we be worried?
• Tech Session:
Webinar with affiliate scammers from across the world
Find out how banking systems throughout the world operate — with special emphasis on money transfers.
• World Politics: has the recent rash of attacks against international ships in and around the Gulf of Aden by pirates tarnished our reputation.
Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it work?
• Accounting: Write-offs and you? Keeping good and accurate records.
• Open Discussion:
We will resume last year’s high-spirited discussion of unionization, including health benefits.
Grammatical errors: What’s the optimal number?
Dr. Kayode Naiyeju presents his ground-breaking research: “which makes more sense adding 0’s to the amount of money offered or offering it in euro’s?
A round table discussion: Is email now Nigeria’s top export?
• For Newcomers:
View an entertaining PowerPoint presentation that describes how to get started in this lucrative business, with no initial investment!
• Hand-on Session:
Experts critique your emails, and offer valuable tips.